Here’s the thing: I genuinely haven’t felt this giddy, or excited, or nervous, orrr anyything about a boy in a LONG time. I feel like I’ve probably said this before. But I don’t think I’ve meant it the way I do now. I feel the way I did when I first started hanging out with Ryan years ago. It’s the same feeling, a feeling that just doesn’t happen for me. And it’s happening. And I’m anxious and scared to see where it goes from here.